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Speaking of Mother’s Day, this mother wants to pose for Playboy!
Does anybody want to see the rest of her body? They shouldn’t even try airbrushing — just print it on leather.
If there was ever a reason to use sunblock and never enter a tanning booth, this is it. I’m afraid we’re going to find out she’s only 23.
Tanning booths should not have a Happy Hour.
The baby hummingbirds are here! They hatched yesterday and here is a photo when they were about three hours old.
Day One (May 1st)
I wish the pictures were clearer but they are really difficult to take. I needed a ladder, a flashlight and some hair clips.
Day Two
The inside of this nest measures only 1/2-inch!
Day Four
They’re resting today and getting bigger (& fuzzier).
Day Seven
It looks like they’ve practically doubled in size in three days.
Day Eight
Taking an afternoon nap, enjoying the California sunshine.
Day Nine
Day Ten
Day Eleven
Day Thirteen
Day Fourteen
Day Fifteen (May 15th)
Day Sixteen
When baby hummingbirds hatch, they have no feathers and dark skin. Babies are hatched with their eyes closed and weigh about 0.62 grams (that’s 1/3 the weight of a dime). They are about one inch long with short, stubby, yellow beaks. The mother will drink nectar and eat bugs and then regurgitate them into the babies’ mouths, feeding them this mixture every 20 minutes. The babies will feel the wind from the wings of their mother and lift their little heads up and open their mouths. It will be about 3 weeks before they fly. Also, mother hummingbirds have no problem re-using another hummingbird’s nest. Sometimes the new mother will move in before the nest has had a chance to cool off from the previous brood. The nests are tiny.
Why not make breakfast for your mom this Mother’s Day?
I just posted a recipe for flaky, healthy, homemade buttermilk biscuits.
They are easier to make than you think.
Make them with some scrambled eggs and fresh fruit, a cup of green tea and bam! The perfect gift!
There are all types of moms: which one is yours?
1. Like June Cleaver only nicer.
2. Still treats me like I’m twelve but I like it.
3. Insists that she still looks good in a tube top.
4. Actually DOES look good in a tube top!
5. She needs a Jenny Jones makeover.
6. If I make the biscuits, that might be her next tattoo!
7. Don’t ask right now – she’s still on probation.
8. Always up in my business.
9. She’ll eat biscuits if George Cloony makes them.
10. Has anybody else’s mom made a sex tape?
Click here for the recipe.
Click here for the video.
I’m checking every day but no babies yet. This time, mom let me get really close so she either trusts me now or she’s had enough of me and refuses to leave. She sits on the eggs most of the day until the gardener shows up with the blower (it’s okay, he knows about the nest and he’s waiting to see the babies too).
So yesterday, Denis and I drove by a park and I saw something that made me say, “Stop the car! Stop the car!” He thought we hit an animal or something but I said, “There’s a carnival in the park! Maybe there’s a tilt-a-whirl! Let me out – I’m going!”
It was just a weekend carnival but they had all kinds of rides… even the ones that drop you from up high, but no tilt-a-whirl. 
I got my hopes up for nothing. I love tilt-a-whirls. Maybe it’s because when we were little, my sister and I used to join hands and spin around in circle until we got so dizzy we fell over. Good times.
We found our first hummingbird nest! The birds have been coming around for years but I’ve never seen a nest until now. It’s not even 2 inches across and the eggs? Well, they are about 1/2-inch long. It’s on a trumpet vine stem but it’s well built and secure.
I’ve been checking every day to see if they’ve hatched by setting up a step ladder so I can see inside. Momma bird doesn’t like me.
Every time I get close she flies away and makes a bunch of noise but I try to send a message telepathically that I’m just looking and mean no harm…
But yesterday, she stood her ground and didn’t leave the nest so maybe the babies are coming soon.
I’m checking every day.
It’s my first opportunity to see baby hummingbirds…
… or to make a teensy weensy omelette… 
As far back as I can remember even having a TV, I remember Dick Clark.
From American Bandstand to The American Music Awards to New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, Dick was a force in television, music , and pop culture.
His passing yesterday leaves a void I doubt will ever be filled.
Of the thirty shows created by Mr. Clark, I was lucky to have been invited to appear on two.
If you’d like to see them, they are titled “The Other Half” and “Dick Clark Show” on my Vintage Videos page. Great memories.
What has scary eyes, waits to come out at night, and whose only goal is to cause destruction? A zombie. And that’s what lives in my back yard. Look at those zombie eyes. Now take a closer look at the picture. See that little yellow thing right in front of him? That’s what’s left of one of the apples on my tree! It’s only April! My apples are still so tiny, even the mangy rat-faced, no-good, low-life, beady-eyed, scum-sucking, apple-stealing squirrel won’t touch them. But they seem to make a nice evening snack for the zombie rabbit.
I ran out and chased him away three times but he came right back. Then I sprayed the tiny apples with an organic but horrible tasting concoction and he still came back. This was war, but I wasn’t going to let him win. I went upstairs to the closet and got my plastic hawk.
Put it right under the tree.
Haven’t seen hide nor hare….
“Aren’t you gonna take your camera?” Denis said as we headed out for a Sunday afternoon walk by the lake. “I guess so, but the last few times there wasn’t much to see. But okay, I’ll take it just in case.” Just in case…. we see a mother duck with NINE newborn babies in the water!
I’m so glad I took my camera. This picture only shows five babies because the other four kept wanting to play on land. They were the cutest little things and once, when another duck got too close, mom chased him away like a mad woman!
Then minutes later, along came a momma goose with her four little ones. Their dad was there too but this was the clearest photo of the babies. There were a lot of us taking pictures – some guys showed up with tripods, fancy cameras and humungous lenses – made mine look like an old Instamatic.
I’m going back next week to see if all the babies are still there. Thanks goodness we don’t have alligators here, only hawks, coyotes, and bobcats, so…
No worries.
This is no way to live! Isn’t it everybody’s dream to live in Southern California? I just realized that I live here in constant fear. These are real things that I think about every day. Let’s review:
1) Earthquakes: Every time I drive and have to stop at a light under a freeway overpass, I get nervous. “What if today’s the day for the big one? What if the overpass comes down on my car? Should I get down on the floor of the car? What if they find me and I’m not wearing my good underwear?”
2) High speed police chases: We just had another high speed chase last night – it seems to be a weekly occurence. Whenever I drive through a large intersection on a green light, I’m nervous. “What if there’s a high speed chase and he’s going so fast I won’t even see him coming? What if there’s a shootout and he uses my car as a shield? What if he T-bones me at 90 mph? Maybe I shouldn’t drive.”
3) Rattlesnakes: There are signs everywhere… at the nursery, on the walking trails, in the canyons – It’s rattlesnake season! My gardener just reminded me to be careful, it’s rattlesnake season. “What if I’m in my back yard and I step on one? What if I’m gardening and I pick one up by accident? What if I scare one and it bites me and I don’t make it to the hospital in time? What if I die on the way, or I’m in the ambulance and a high speed chase hits us, or we have to stop under a freeway overpass and there’s an earthquake?!”
4) Spiders: Spider season is also coming and for some reason, my house gets some HUGE spiders, mostly at night. “What if a spider crawls on my face when I’m sleeping? What if that red mark on my leg is a spider bite? What if it’s a black widow or a brown recluse? What if I die in my sleep from a spider bite? What if I wake up and it’s on my eye?”
This is no way to live!
UPDATE @ MIDNIGHT:
Here is the picture of Sue’s Easter Cookies using my Christmas cookie recipe. Sue says, “They were sooooo good and everyone devoured them!” The bunnies look great.
One of my favorite Polish traditions is the decorating of beautiful Easter eggs (pisanki). Some are real eggs and some, like this photo, are made of wood. I remember coloring eggs when I was a kid but they never looked like this. We just boiled eggs with onion skins and they turned red. I think we were poor and I didn’t know it.
I want to hide some eggs again this year but Denis won’t look for them. Maybe if I hide one under the remote control…
So who knows me best? I guess it’s Larry.
1) All of the jobs are right
2) Cooking for sure
3) Denis and I are together 27 years
4) I drive a 2003 Lexus LS430 (with very low mileage)
5) Opposum was right. But Larry, how did you know about the Dodge Dakota?