I bought a skirt at the drug store. At the drug store! Is that wrong? Was I just conned? They had a rack of summer skirts for $9.99 right at the entry door. I noticed it when I walked in but thought, “What kind of people are buying clothes at the pharmacy? For God sakes, go to Target, or Ross, or Kohls if you’re broke but not Walgreens. Have we lost our sense of dignity?” I stuck my nose in the air and passed by the display of colorful skirts. But one caught my eye so I stopped, looked back and saw a black & white one that would go perfectly with a new top I just got. All of a sudden, I felt a little extra weight on my shoulders. “It can’t hurt to look,” said the left side. “This is a drug store!” said the right. “Where’s your pride? What if somebody sees you?” I was paralyzed with indecision, but that skirt was so cute – they all were. I started inching towards the rack, stopped, turned back, turned around again, hoping people would think I forgot my keys. When no one was around, I finally walked over & looked through the skirts – this one was so soft and summery but would it fit? I looked for a mirror to get a full view but there was none. And what kind of a drug store has no fitting room? I took my chances and bought it, hoping no one I knew would walk in at that moment, praying that it fit so I would never be in the position of returning clothes to Walgreens. When I got home I tried it on and it fit. I love my new skirt! Then I remembered another cute green one that I also liked and besides, I could always use more floss. I’m going back.
“There’s something you need to see.” That’s what the gardener said when he knocked on the door this morning. “There’s a very big rattlesnake in the back,” he said. “Alive?” I asked. “Not any more, but he’s still moving.” They always kill my rattlesnakes first, then tell me about it. But this one was big – about 2 1/2 to 3 feet long, and it was still alive! I grabbed my camera, put on hard shoes and followed the gardener out. Even though the snake was injured, it was still scary to be that close. And I go walking back there all the time. It was the same spot where the alligator lizard was and I know who would have won that fight. Maybe that’s why I never saw the lizard again. He was lunch… hell no – more like an appetizer.
The hair color is right.
Sometimes Denis is afraid of me.
And I’ve been called a tramp. This could work.
Here are some of my favorites so far. Keep ’em coming…
p.s. Sorry the site was down last night. Problem fixed.
I’m putting together a new “Fun Photos” page for the website. I have quite a few unique pictures that area screaming for a caption, especially this photo of me. So I’m looking for ideas. And don’t worry about hurting my feelings.
Sticks and Stones, baby! Bring it!
The new section should be up in a week or two.
My newest pet peeve is when I’m watching a show on TV, focusing on the storyline, and just when it gets interesting all of a sudden some guy pops up at the bottom of the screen, walkin’ around down there waving his arms like he has an urgent message I need to know, and then here comes the name of the show, what time it’s on, and blah, blah, blah. Who cares? This is so annoying! I refuse to watch any show that I see promo’d like that. I’ll show them. I guess they’ve figured out that no one is watching commercials any more so now I am being forced to endure these rude interruptions to my favorite shows. And they’re not tiny – they take up half the screen! So now I’m forming a new coalition called B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S (Boycotting All Shows That Are Run Down-Screen). Who’s in?
• It’s hotter than two rats humping in a wool sock.
• It’s hotter than a snake’s ass in a wagon rut.
• It’s hotter than the flames under Mel Gibson’s career.
The heat hasn’t hurt my little yellow grape tomatoes. We’re having awesome salads every day!
It’s something you probably have at home.
Yours may look very different.
REGARDING OLD EPISODES I’m sorry to say I have no access to old tapes of the Jenny Jones Show and am not able to help anyone locate a lost episode. And about the “saddest boy” from our boot camp show, all of our attempts to locate him were unsuccessful. We can only assume he does not wish to be in the spotlight. We also reached out to Raymond Moses and did not receive response.
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