There are some people who just need to go away for a while – not forever – but just until they learn how to behave… kind of a time out for grown ups. When kids are given a time out, it’s a chance to slow down and think about what they’ve done. So here are my suggestions for some oversized children who could use a time out:
Lindsay Lohan. She’s a talented actress but we need a break from the endless drama that she seems addicted to. She could use some time away in a quiet room with no cell phone…no parties…no booze…and no parents! I can’t decide what’s the most damaging – the boozing or the parenting.
Chris Brown. Again, a huge talent (I love to watch him dance) but his success was too much too soon. Chris, why don’t you donate all the money from your new album to a battered women’s shelter? And take some time to read a book on anger management in a quiet room with no plate glass windows! And f.y.i., I’m still being asked questions about a scandal from 15 years ago so get used to it.
And I’m still not over Tiger Woods. Next to Bernie Madoff… he was one of the biggest frauds of the century. Bernie had some of my money too, but I feel like Tiger cheated on me personally. Tiger (time for a name change?) should be in a quiet room too, reflecting on the number of people he disappointed. But hey, good news: Bernie Madoff IS in a quiet room!
Who did I miss?
NEW ADDITIONS BASED ON YOUR COMMENTS:
Miley Cyrus – The whole family could use some quiet time and live in the real world for a while. They’re clearly living too fast… Billy Ray has had no time to get a haircut!
Michael Vick – He needs a long time out in a quiet room with hungry dogs.
Charlie Sheen – He might voluntarily go away after being booed by the audience in his first “concert” in Detroit tonight, which was called “a disaster” and “the worst show in history,” with angry people walking out demanding refunds. Let’s hope it’s the reality check he needs to take a time out.
Mel Gibson & Everybody on Jersey Shore. Oh, I almost forgot: Randy Quaid!