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Tilt-a-What the F@&??

The flower fields in Lompoc were beautiful, although not what I expected. I thought they would all be in one huge valley all together but now I know they are farms and those farms are located all over the place. Some people gave us general directions where most of them were but then driving along the highway, you come around a bend and there’s one all by itself – a stunning carpet of orange and purple flowers. But more than the flowers, we saw acres and acres of grapes being grown. I forgot that we were in wine country. If I had known what was to come, I would have had a lot of wine before going in search of a Tilt-a-Whirl.

It was opening day at the Flower Festival so there were not a lot of people. And there was no Tilt-a-Whirl. But I found one that looked kind of like a tilt-a-whirl and the operator was just hanging around waiting for someone to ride. I bought the ticket, got on, and then two other kids got on, all about 8 years old. Β I was so excited! This would be my Tilt-a-Whirl. The music was loud and I was ready. It only took about 15 seconds for me to start screaming, “Stop! Stop!” I had no idea this thing would fly up into the air, start heaving down to the bottom, then up to the top… but that’s not all. The seats went vertical… but that’s not all. Then they started spinning!!! Got it? Loud music, flying up and down, seats VERTICAL and SPINNING! I was so scared and was screaming as loud as I could to stop. But the other kids were screaming for joy so he didn’t know the difference. Suddenly I remembered that someone died of a heart attack in an earthquake last year. You can die from fear!! Would I die up here? Would I pass out and fly out of the seat? I think I just peed on myself. He finally noticed me screaming and stopped the ride after about 4 hours (Denis says it was 30 seconds but he lies).

I had to be helped off the ride like an old person who can’t get out of a chair. My heart was pounding. My hands were shaking. I was crying and hyperventilating. I thanked the operator for stopping (I think I recognized him from the audience at the prison!). But all that’s not even the worst part. The operator had to start the ride back up for the other kids who seemed to have no problem with this death-trap called The Orbiter. The worst part was the looks I got from the kids for interrupting their ride. Can an 8-year-old girl be condescending? Β This bitch was.

5 Responses

  1. sue says:

    We were on a ride called the spider that looked like that. It kept spinning up in the air and going up and down…I was feeling sooo sick!! I can relate too. You have a great way of making a bad situation into something entertaining JJ!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ BTW, you eat so healthy a bad ride couldn’t stop your heart!! Never worry about that.
    Glad you’re o.k. too!!

    Happy 4th all.
    Sue

  2. Monica says:

    I had a similar experience years ago on something called the Zipper. I feel your pain but this had me laughing. You have a wonderful sense of humor!!

  3. MrsNews says:

    I totally get it! I threw up on the Tilt A World when I was an adult! They had to stop the ride. The little kids were crying because the old lady threw up. Mind you I was 18!!! I don’t do circle rides anymore. Now roller coaster are the only thing I do.
    I sooooooooooo get it!!

    Did I mention I was pregnant when I threw up??

    K

  4. Rhonda says:

    Oh dear…I’m glad you are okay as well. I was laughing at first at your post especially when you say Denis lies…lol… It felt like a 4 hour ride from hell huh Jenny but towards the end of reading your post I felt so bad for you and it became not so funny to me at all. I bet you were terrified πŸ™

    I agree. People do die from fear, so be careful when you are trying out a ride that looks like a tilt a whirl. Heck Jenny come out here. Our fair has the tilt a whirl and it’s the old red ones. If you don’t know what you are getting on and not sure what it does once on it please ask. I know that the cup and saucer at such places do somewhat like the tilt a whirl so keep your eyes peeled for something stationed to the ground that will spin you if the tilt a whirl is no where around. I think if you got out more and did things like what you did here you would find one. They are still around. Just pack your bags and come to Georgia…lol…

    I think I found the ride you described you were on and Jenny I would not get on this for nothing. Don’t blame you for your reaction to this one. It looks scary. I was confused when you said the seats were vertical, so of course I had to google the Orbiter. This is the best I could find…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoxFIBdOQ58
    The Orbiter

  5. Heather says:

    awwwww Sorry about your bad experience…but glad you are OK!!!

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