{"id":3947,"date":"2011-07-10T15:35:16","date_gmt":"2011-07-10T22:35:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/?p=3947"},"modified":"2011-07-10T15:35:16","modified_gmt":"2011-07-10T22:35:16","slug":"breaking-news-of-my-dreams","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/breaking-news-of-my-dreams\/","title":{"rendered":"Breaking News of my dreams"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>It’s too much food! Everything’s ready at once. This is what I picked just today: Grapefruits, oranges, lemons, apples, tomatoes, peac…. oh right, no peaches. They all got picked early and made into a pie. Now that they’re gone, the squirrel has moved on to my tomatoes. Every morning, I find the remnants of a ripe, red tomato on the ground. I’m thinking about putting a mouse trap in the tomato plant, baited with a nice red tomato. If it snapped in his face, that squirrel would catapult himself all the way to the 405 freeway. Then with a little luck, he would meet head on with a semi – a tragic accident. BREAKING NEWS: There was a splat-and-run on the 405 today but the CHP is unable to identify the victim. All that remained on scene was a piece of tomato and some fur.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s too much food! Everything’s ready at once. This is what I picked just today: Grapefruits, oranges, lemons, apples, tomatoes, peac…. oh right, no peaches. They all got picked early and made into a pie. Now that they’re gone, the squirrel has moved on to my tomatoes. Every morning, I find the remnants of a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3947","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dear-diary"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t