{"id":8640,"date":"2024-12-25T09:16:31","date_gmt":"2024-12-25T17:16:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/?p=8640"},"modified":"2024-12-25T09:46:49","modified_gmt":"2024-12-25T17:46:49","slug":"my-christmas-poem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/my-christmas-poem\/","title":{"rendered":"My Christmas Poem"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

My Beef With Santa<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hey Santa, What\u2019s up Dawg? You chillin\u2019 tonight?
\nDon\u2019t get too cozy, \u2018cuz I\u2019m about to pick a fight.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t get bupkus last year, thanks to you
\nI wrote you a letter \u2013 how much good did THAT do?<\/p>\n

You\u2019re lucky you\u2019re up north and not down here,
\nI would kick your ass. Somebody hold my beer!<\/p>\n

Listen, fat man, you better stop slackin
\nDeliver the goods or bad things can happen.<\/p>\n

Just bring me my stuff \u2013 I am not jokin\u2019
\nIf not, you may have to sleep with one eye open. \ud83d\udc40<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been planning revenge through most of the year
\nBe a shame if something happened to one of your reindeer.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d be careful before drinking that next shot of eggnog,
\nAnd you may want to protect your precious little yule log.<\/p>\n

My list this year is the same as my last one.
\nI\u2019ve made my point, so don\u2019t pull a fast one.<\/p>\n

Just bring the nail clippers and hat \u2013 no games or schemes
\nOr I will haunt you and your elves every night in your dreams. \ud83d\udc7b<\/p>\n

Now I\u2019m sorry for causing you all this stress
\nCuz I just found those things at CVS.<\/p>\n

I still love you, Santa! \ud83d\ude0d<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My Beef With Santa Hey Santa, What\u2019s up Dawg? You chillin\u2019 tonight? Don\u2019t get too cozy, \u2018cuz I\u2019m about to pick a fight. I didn\u2019t get bupkus last year, thanks to you I wrote you a letter \u2013 how much good did THAT do? You\u2019re lucky you\u2019re up north and not down here, I would […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8640","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8640","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8640"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8640\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8646,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8640\/revisions\/8646"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8640"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8640"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8640"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}