{"id":8736,"date":"2026-06-07T07:01:00","date_gmt":"2026-06-07T14:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/?p=8736"},"modified":"2026-06-07T07:44:41","modified_gmt":"2026-06-07T14:44:41","slug":"%f0%9f%8e%88im-80-today-%f0%9f%8e%88","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/%f0%9f%8e%88im-80-today-%f0%9f%8e%88\/","title":{"rendered":"\ud83c\udf88I’m 80 Today \ud83c\udf88"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

…I’m marking my special day with a poem…<\/p>\n

S**t happens when you get older, you\u2019re suddenly free,
\nYou can swear and get away with it, just like me.
\nWe all get older, you just have to prepare,
\nIf you want to know what\u2019s coming, pull up a chair. \ud83e\ude91<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a parade of horribles coming your way:
\nYour ears get longer and your hair turns gray.
\nEvery problem feels like a panic attack,
\nLike needing a cushion with a space for your crack.<\/p>\n

Seniors, it seems, are always feeling cold.
\nLosing some fat happens when you get old.
\nNot me. I never admit that I\u2019m freezing at all\u2026
\nOMG! I actually own a shawl!<\/p>\n

My body is changing, it\u2019s just not fair,
\nMy hips are thinner, but so is my hair!
\nSome places on my body suffer wear and tear,
\nOther places – I\u2019m afraid to look down there.<\/p>\n

My husband tries to show how much he still loves me,
\nSo he playfully grabs my butt where it used to be.
\nWhen I stretch, all he hears is snap, crackle and pop.
\n\u201cMaking popcorn?\u201d he says. \u201cPut some salt on the top.\u201d \ud83c\udf7f<\/p>\n

Memory is a challenge when you watch TV,
\nWhen you can\u2019t remember\u2026 did it start with a C?
\nCan\u2019t find our favorite show as hard as we try,
\n\u201cHoney, let\u2019s watch that show with that guy!\u201d \ud83d\udcfa<\/p>\n

Scrolling and searching is always a dread,
\nWhen we finally find it, it\u2019s time to go to bed.
\nAnother thing that bothers me, it really does,
\nSorry\u2026 I just can\u2019t remember what it was.<\/p>\n

My workouts are changing, it used to be biking,
\nThese days, sitting down is more to my liking.
\nSome things are a rite of passage for little old ladies.
\nDo I have to crochet? Just send me to Hades! \ud83d\udd25<\/p>\n

There\u2019s always a test \u2013 MRI\u2019s, X-rays & scans\u2026
\nWell that sucks. I was making other plans.
\nFixing unexplained cuts & bruises are just routine,
\nMy bathroom counter looks like a crime scene.<\/p>\n

Joints are a bit stiffer – I knew they would be,
\nSo decisions I make are important to me.
\nLike when I drop things, say a spoon or a cup\u2026
\nIs it really worth kneeling down to pick it up?<\/p>\n

Right now, there\u2019s a spoon, and a tea bag on the floor,
\nI think l\u2019ll wait until I drop a few more.
\nThen I\u2019ll get down there – I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll survive,
\nOr maybe just stay there \u2018til paramedics arrive. \ud83d\ude91<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t care much what people think any more.
\nDon\u2019t like my stretch pants? There\u2019s the door!
\nNow I\u2019m driving too slowly? Stop honking at me!
\nIt\u2019s not that I\u2019m old \u2013 I just can\u2019t see. \ud83e\udd13<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve lived 29,221 days!
\nSeeing that number means healthy living pays.
\nIf I make it to 31 thousand I\u2019ll be 85 and thriving,
\nDon\u2019t panic or anything, but I\u2019ll be 85 and driving. \ud83d\ude98<\/p>\n

The truth is I\u2019m actually fine and still holding up,
\nNo issues, no problems, I just made it all up.
\nMy sense of humor is what\u2019s helping me thrive,
\nLet\u2019s see how funny things are when I turn 85! \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

…I’m marking my special day with a poem… S**t happens when you get older, you\u2019re suddenly free, You can swear and get away with it, just like me. We all get older, you just have to prepare, If you want to know what\u2019s coming, pull up a chair. \ud83e\ude91 There\u2019s a parade of horribles coming […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[86,85],"class_list":["post-8736","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-jenny-jones-birthday","tag-jenny-jones-is-80"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8736","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8736"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8736\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8746,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8736\/revisions\/8746"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8736"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8736"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyjones.com\/myblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8736"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}