Santa, you’ve known me since I was a kid,
Remember when I wanted a teapot with a lid?
You came through then, and lots of times after,
When I wanted cartoons, you brought me laughter.

But then as a teen I begged you and pleaded
For something I desperately wanted & needed.
I didn’t ask for skates or some rubix cubes, 🛼
My request was simple… Just give me some boobs.

You either got people’s letters but didn’t read them,
Or you simply decided I didn’t need them.
I was mad at you all year ‘cuz my boobs didn’t grow,
But then by my twenties, I gave you another go.

“Santa,” I wrote, “there’s something else that I need,
It’s important to me so I’ll beg and I’ll plead. 🙏
You owe me for the boob thing, so now here goes:
I got my mother’s eyes but my dad’s big nose.” 🥸 👀

You remember me asking if you can make it teeny?
You wrote back and said, “I’m Santa – not Houdini!”
In spite of your rejections, I continued to believe,
Surely my next ask, I’m bound to receive.

So at 40 I gave it another shot,
About those boobs, maybe you just forgot.
I could use them now, even more than ever,
You said, “When do you want them? How about never?”

Boobless and hopeless, I wanted something for me,
So I bought implants on sale – buy one get one free!
They’re gone now and that is good news,
But there’s still one more thing I can actually use.

I’m 79 now and my boobs finally grew,
But when I look down I feel kind of blue.
You sent my boobs but something’s bothering me….
Can you change them from a 34-LONG to a 34-B? 😀

🎄 Merry Christmas, everyone! 🎄