“Messed Up Mommy” writes…
Dear Jenny,

I’m pregnant with twins and I’m also dating two guys. I don’t know which one is the father but both of them want full time custody of the twins. I don’t want the babies so would it be okay to give one to each guy? They would both be loving fathers.

Messed Up Mommy

My Response…
Dear Messed Up Mommy,

First of all, do not split the twins up. It’s unthinkable to even consider splitting them up. They need to grow up together so here is what I suggest. First, tell the guys that as soon as the babies are born you will get a paternity test. It’s theoretically possible that there are two different fathers but not likely. Once the father is determined, and if he can be a responsible parent and can provide a loving and stable home for the children, then the twins may be better off with him and his family. But I’m hoping you will find your maternal instincts and choose to be the mother these babies need. The best scenario is to have both parents raise these twins. Otherwise, adoption may be a good option, but only if the twins stay together. Please make sure they grow up together, in a home where they are wanted and loved.
Jenny

Anna writes…
I’m 16 years old and I’m in an awkward situation.. Okay I am adopted by my aunt and uncle… To give you a little back ground information.. my mothers a bi-sexual and she is a police officer.. she works 24/7 and she didn’t have time to take care of me when I was younger… anyways every since I can remember, my birth mom and my adopted parents don’t get along. It seems like there is always a problem… If there not fighting over me its over something dumb… Jenny I cant take it.. Around my adopted parents I say that I hate my mother and that I don’t want to be around her but that’s not the truth. I love my mother with all me heart but I don’t want to hurt my Adopted parents feelings… Please help me…

Sincerely,
Anna

My response…
First of all, you sound more grown up than the adults. They should be having their disagreements someplace else and not in front of you. But you are lucky that you were adopted by family, so I am happy to know that. It’s tough growing up thinking your mom didn’t have time for you. My mother was an alcoholic and was never there for me either so I think I can relate. In spite of all the bad things she said to me, I still loved her so I also understand that too. You can love someone but not like what they have done. You should probably start by being honest. You don’t need to say you hate your bio-mom, in fact your parents probably know that you don’t. It sounds like she’s still in the picture so that makes her extended family. Tell your parents that just like you can love your cousins or aunts or uncles, you cal also love you bio-mom, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love them any less. As a bi-sexual working in mostly a man’s world, I imagine your mother has had lots to deal with. And not raising you herself has to be touigh for her to deal with. I wish you could all get into family counseling, but you could start, as I said, by being honest. It’s not always easy, but I have never in my life regretted being honest. In the end, just like me, this will make you strong.
Take care,
Jenny

“Stay-Over Sister” Writes…
Dear Jenny,

I’m 16 years old and my sister recently got married and moved about half and hour from our house. I often go and stay at her house for a few days. Sometimes she and my brother in-law sneak off into their bedroom. I don’t know for sure but my guess is they’re having sex. This usually happens in the middle of the day. It makes me very uncomfortable because their apartment is quite small and their bedroom is next to the living room. I usually just turn up the tv or something. Should I confront her about it? I know they’re newlyweds but it makes me so uncomfortable. What should I do?

“Stay-Over Sister”

My Response…
Dear “Stay-Over Sister,”

My guess is that your guess is right. They probably are having sex, which is perfectly normal, and they are doing it at home. Behind closed doors. In their own house. So what’s to confront her about? You’re the company. They’re having fun. Sex in the afternoon? They are definitely having fun. If it makes you uncomfortable, the next time you see them headed for the bedroom, give them some privacy. Just say, “Hey, you guys! I’m going to run out to the store. I’ll see you in a while!” They’ll know that you know and you’ll know that they know that you know and everybody can relax.

You can go to a bookstore, a library, the mall, or just go for a walk. You might burn up as many calories as they are. That way they have their privacy, you won’t be embarrassed and no one’s feelings will be hurt.
Take care,
Jenny

“A Mother Confused” writes…
Jenny,

I am a 19 year old mother of two boys. My ex and I are not together. We actually kind of still despise each other because of our past-he cheated on me. Our son’s 3rd birthday is coming up so I told him we should have a party and his girlfriend would be invited (the one he cheated on me with and then cheated on her with me). They have a daughter together and that’s my son’s sister, but he doesn’t want to have the party because the kids are two weeks apart and he doesn’t want his girlfriend to know he cheated. But if she was to come to the party, it’s not like there’s going to be a confrontation. What do you think I should do?

“A Mother Confused”

My Response…
Dear Mother Confused,

I think you should have a nice kids’ birthday party for your son and invite all his friends. Have balloons and cake and make it a fun day for your 3-year old. Leave the adults out of it. If you “despise” your ex, why in the world would you want to have the party with him? And his girlfriend? I don’t get it. Your son is three and the girlfriend doesn’t know what’s up? I would stay away from her and her daughter and not think of the kids as brother and sister. But try to work out your differences with your ex so that your 3-year old has his dad in his life. Hopefully, your ex will grow up and become a better role model for his kids.
Jenny