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November, 2011

No turkeys at the zoo

We went to the zoo yesterday and saw all kinds of animals but no turkeys. I wonder where they all went?

The zoo was a great place to walk off some of my pumpkin pie.  There was a lot of noise coming from the chimps so I ran over with my camera but I couldn’t figure out what was going on. How about a good caption…


Does he look familiar?

Here he is back in the 50s and if you haven’t guessed yet, it’s Regis Philbin, who retired this week after setting the Guinness World Record for the most number of hours on TV.

It seems everybody who’s anybody has been interviewed by Regis, inlcuding myself back in the 80s when I was a standup comic touring the country with “Girls’ Night Out.”

The show was called Live With Regis and Kathie Lee but Regis’ wife Joy was the cohost that day. If my jokes don’t make you laugh, my shoes will. 🙂

Click here to see the interview.


Drug store wardrobe – again!

I did it again. Last year I did some wardrobe shopping at Walgreens (see July 25, 2010 posting). I wasn’t planning to but they had the display right in front of the entrance and it was only $9.99 for a beautiful summer skirt. I bought it, hoping it wouldn’t make the tabloids in the “Stars Who Have Hit Hard Times” section. So… fast forward to last month when my sister was here and being from Canada, she was looking for a warm and fuzzy plaid outdoor jacket. We never found it, maybe because it was 80 degrees every day of her visit. Literally, the day after she left I went to Rite-Aid and there it was! Right at the entrance – a rack of warm and fuzzy plaid outdoor jackets. This was exactly what she wanted – for $19.95! With a hood! And extra zip lining! It was perfect!  But I had to make sure the size was right so I tried it on myself. One look in a mirror and I’d know what size to get but this was a pharmacy and they don’t have dressing rooms… or mirrors. Can somebody please put mirrors in the drug store! I put on the jacket and walked up and down the aisles looking at my reflection in various glass display cases, but I couldn’t see much. Finally, I found a rack of sunglasses with that long skinny 2-inch wide, 48-inch tall strip of mirror which is great if you’re a naked anorexic. I was able to see enough to pick the right size. She got it, loved it, and said it was a perfect fit. What’s next at the drug store? “Waiting for a prescription? Get your eyelids done on aisle three!”


Look who’s back.

Why? Why? Why? There are other trees to pillage. Life was joyous the last few weeks when he was busy eating all the pine cones off my pine tree. I just walked outside to pick the first apple from my new fall crop. It was the nice big one one near the top that I’ve been watching for weeks and today was the day it would be ready to eat. But it’s gone. Stolen by that mangy, rat-faced, no-good, low-life, beady-eyed, scum-sucking, apple-stealing squirrel! I saw him eating it right there under the tree and ran outside as if I could actually catch him. In three seconds, he was up on the roof and gone. And so was the apple I guess because it was no where to be found. This is totally unacceptable. I am so mad!!!!!! I have to do something. But what?  Home Depot doesn’t sell land mines.


Josh’s Mexican folk art

Josh writes, “Here is a photo of the sugar skulls that I made for a speech that I did on ‘Mexican folk art.’ They are made from sugar, water and meringue powder. You put the mixture into a mold and allow it to dry for 6 hours. Then you hollow it out a bit so the finished skull isn’t too heavy. After allowing it to dry further, you glue the front and back together with royal icing, and decorate them with royal icing.”

(from Jenny) Josh, right after you sent your picture, I was at a street fair here in L.A. and saw these pillows, etc. for sale. What are the odds of seeing similar folk art on the same day! I thought you would enjoy these…