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December, 2010

Week in Review

1. Wesley Snipes is in prison, serving 3 years for tax evasion. He owed the IRS 15 million dollars. Before you judge him for being stupid, he may be smarter than you think. He does nothing for 3 years and wipes out 15 million in debt.  That’s 5 million a year – plus free meals. Genius!

2. Who owns the Dodgers? Jamie and Frank McCourt are spending millions on lawyers to see who owns the Dodgers. Their former lawyer admitted that he doctored the community property agreement to make Frank the sole owner and now the judge has voided that agreement. If I were that former lawyer, I’d be far away, with a fake moustache, in a witness protection program… and open to a sex-change.

 3. David Hasselhoff’s new reality show has already been cancelled after just two episodes.  First DWTS and now this?  What happened, Hoff? Your new show is off. That is toff. They didn’t even tune in to scoff.  I guess they’ve had enoff of the Hoff.

 4. Rob a bank without a ski mask.  Bad guys are robbing banks using special effects masks, like an old man, and they’re fooling everybody. I would use a Mel Gibson mask. You wouldn’t need a gun. Anyone would give you money just to leave and not come back.

 5. “Off with their Heads!” British students are angry that their university fees are being tripled so they gathered on the streets to protest.  Not a good time for Charles and Camilla to cruise by in their 1977 vintage Rolls-Royce Phantom VI. The classic car was struck with fists, sticks and bottles, breaking a window and splattering it with paint. Even Camilla was poked with a stick.  I think it was a 10-foot pole.


Autumn in Hollywood

I went out today just to take pictures.  It’s autumn in Hollywood and some of the trees feel like it’s the east coast.  It was brisk, too, about 50 degrees -brrrr!  This tree was spectacular so I just pulled over and grabbed my camera.  On the way home I was stopped at a light and spotted a guy at the ATM in his pajamas! And they didn’t even match!  My camera was in the back seat or he would have been my featured photo. Plus he seemed to be unable to get the machine working. Here, let me paint a visual picture for you: About 25 years old, pajama bottoms with black and white dogs on them, pajama top an orange and blue plaid, black open-back slippers. The only possible explanation was that he was just going down to get his mail, tripped and fell on his head, thought he was still home, & was trying to get some more beer out of the fridge.


An unwelcome visitor

This morning I spotted two deer on the back hill so I got my camera and went out to take a picture. They usually don’t run from me but this time, just as I raised my camera, they bolted up the hill faster than I’ve ever seen them move.  Oh well, no photo this time.

Seconds later, before I even lowered the camera, this coyote approached from the side, moving like he had a mission. This was the only photo I got before he was gone. I don’t know why he didn’t chase them up the hill  – maybe he was hunting for a lighter snack.  Can I interest you in some organic filet of gopher? Maybe some skunk tartare? Snake on a stick?


Someone is close…

Over a hundred guesses so far!

No one has guessed the exact number but one person is very close.

Only one more day and the winner will be revealed.

If you haven’t played yet, go to the Nov. 29th posting below to enter your guess.


Armpit Weather

It’s freezing here is Southern California, literally below zero at night. So when my hands get cold, I look for the warmest place to warm them up. That would be Denis’ armpits.

It’s the perfect combination: two warm pits, two cold hands. If he’s wearing a flannel shirt, it’s gotta be over a hundred in there! The downside for him is he can’t really move, unless we walk in one direction together since he’s free to drink some water or answer the phone. It only takes 5 minutes to warm up and then he’s free to go.  I told you I had a good man.

p.s. It doesn’t work as well when he’s naked.