The first season of the Jenny Jones Show was a lot different from the last. So was my appearance. I can best illustrate the difference with this old clip I found of a little segment called “Bimbo School.” I played the Bimbo (I still had the boobs!). The Academy Award Nominating Committee did not call but we sure had some fun.
Enjoy some old school Jenny.
1. Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married! Kate, are you sure you want to do this? How much do you know about his father? The apple doesn’t fall…etc… What will you do when you discover text messages to another, much older, seriously older, woman? Well, maybe not text messages, but I’d keep an eye out for homing pigeons.
2. It was bound to happen: they are banning plastic bags at the grocery. So now I’m hoarding my plastic bags in case I can’t get any more. I have a better idea: Why don’t they ban check-writing when there are more than 5 people in line. Or ban cell phones. Or ban price checks in the express line: No bar code? It’s free! Let’s move it!
3. The public is incensed that Bristol Palin made the finals on Dancing With The Stars. The same people who voted for Bristol will vote for her mother if she runs for president. Let’s hope the mom can dance better than the daughter because if Sarah ever becomes president, she’ll be tap dancing in the White House.
4. Eva Longoria is divorcing that guy Tony-something. What’s it gonna take for cheaters to learn to STOP TEXTING?!? Have we learned nothing from Tiger Woods? Here’s how not to get caught: Pick up the phone, hook up at a Red Roof Inn, and if you get busted, hide the golf clubs.
5. Airport screening is out of control. They could avoid all the screening with a new mandatory flyer’s dress code: Tights and a Tank Top – No Underwear! Think about it. Ballet tights are comfortable for a long flight, there’s nowhere to hide anything, and they don’t have to touch your junk when it’s shrink-wrapped like that.
I had my first pomegranate today and I’ve never had one so sweet and crisp and ruby red inside. It took patience not to pick them off my tree but I waited until one was cracked and I could see the inside. Last year I grew two and this year, almost twenty! This picture is not photoshopped – that’s exactly what it looked like (it’s gone now).
Here’s a picture of it after I cut it open:
I needed a treat today after my mini meltdown yesterday but I guess that had to come out. I had been holding that pain for years and it actually felt good to let it go. I’m feeling much better now thanks to the loving support and kind words sent by my blog buddies. Thank you all for caring enough to write. I wish I could send you all a pomegranate, but I can send you a big thank you hug. (((H)))
I’ve received a number of emails asking why I wasn’t on the Oprah Show that featured other talk show hosts including Montel Williams and Ricki Lake. To put it simply, I was not invited. I guess she was not a fan. Oprah tapes her show in Chicago and in 1990, when I came to town with my show, I never felt welcome there. From the very beginning, the local press was brutal, calling me a prima donna, saying I demanded limos everywhere when in fact I rode my bike to work, or drove my Saturn. Chicago Magazine blindsided me with a scathing article titled “Talking Trash” about what a horrible person I was and to this day I don’t know why. I even contacted the editor and invited him to lunch, asking that he invite the reporter who wrote the lies in the hopes that once they met me, things would change. The reporter had a previous engagement. The press was so brutal, I even drove to the Sun-Times to ask their most vicious columnist, Bob Feder, face-to-face why he was doing this to me. His answer was, “You came to my city and I can write whatever I choose.”
It didn’t end when I left. I recently did a phone interview with a Chicago radio station looking for people who needed money from Jenny’s Heroes and this is what they posted on their website: “A lot of people will remember the Jenny Jones show for an episode that never aired — the one about same-sex crushes; The show that led to one guest killing another. A court found the Jenny Jones Show not liable for the safety of its guests. The show nosedived afterwards. That said, Jenny Jones is giving away $2 million, in relatively small increments, to people she calls “Jenny’s Heroes.” It seemed that even after I left, the local media still hated me.
I met Oprah once at a prime time special taping for Phil Donahue, in fact we shared the same elevator, and I spoke to her, trying to get her up to speed since she missed rehearsal, but she just ignored me and stared straight ahead. I still don’t know why. It can’t be that my show was bad because she has hired several of my former staff members, including my executive assistant. I was never going to write about this but once I started this post, I couldn’t stop. I suppose I needed to vent and I’m sorry to be so negative. The truth is it’s painful to be vilified the way I was (and still am) by a city I grew to love and called my second home. So the Oprah snub is just one more rejection. Life goes on.
Part Two: I was just told that Entertainment Weekly’s Popwatch posted this poll of who was missing from the Oprah photo. But who’s missing from the list? It sucks to not matter. Writer Kerrie Mitchell must be from Chicago.
Hair wasn’t the only thing that was big in the 80s – so were earrings! The bigger and brighter the better. And I had some of the best and biggest, in fact some were so big & heavy they had to be clip-ons to provide ballast and stability. But they also had history: I wore one of them on my first date with Denis, one when I presented on the People’s Choice Awards, and another pair on Star Search, so I found a way I could enjoy them every day. I went to a craft store and bought a cardboard heart and some glue and I made this recycled art to hang on my wall. It’s full of sparkle and color but mostly beautiful memories.
I found another old Jenny Jones Show video from 1996 and it was one of my favorite shows to do. Check out “Totally Useless Talent” but be prepared to be grossed out! You’ll see a couple of things you actually could try at home, some things you’d be stupid to try at home, and some that are a complete waste of time 🙂 … but still pretty funny. Here’s the link: http://demo.jennyjones.com/bt_video_highlights.shtml
Oh, and I went to Target last night and bought three shirts, two pairs of pants and two sweaters. My new fall wardrobe for $150 bucks!
1. Four and a half thousand people were stranded on a cruise ship off the coast of Mexico with no power, no toilets, no phones, no food (I don’t call Spam and Pop Tarts food). This was worse than the Chilean miners! But here’s the thing: The ship was only 80 miles from shore! They could probably see Mexico from the ship. How long does it take a power boat to go 80 miles & start picking people up? An hour? What’s the problem? I could have made it to shore in an inner tube.
2. Somali Pirates have freed a British couple after being held for a year. Boy, that must have been haarrrrrrrd. Their release must have taken a lot of aarrrrbitration. Or maybe someone paid a big ransom booty. I guess they were determined to be freed, by hook or by crook. Otherwise, it could have been aaarrrrrrmageddon. Asked if they are glad to finally be free, the couple responded, “Yes, we aarrrrrrrre!”
3. Those with a morbid interest in dirty money spent two million dollars this week on Bernie Madoff’s stuff, like his Rolex, grand piano, and diamond rings… you know, the stuff he STOLE from trusting victims to the tune of Fifty Billion Dollars. Isn’t that like fencing stolen goods? Hey, Bernie’s living inside a fence! How ironic!
4. You don’t supposed Oksana Grigorieva nailed Mel Gibson to further her singing career, do you? If she has a hit record, I’m playing tackle for the Pittsburgh Steelers next year.
5. Sarah Palin has a new reality show about Alaska. Let’s hope she gets voted off.
My father was a veteran and I remember when my sister and I were growing up, he used to tell us stories about the war and his time in a Russian prison camp, and I never really understood how much he gave up. To be honest, I used to roll my eyes, thinking, “Here we go again.” But I was just a kid. Today, I’d give anything to hear those stories again – and to tell my dad how proud I am of his service to his country. My stepmon’s husband was also a veteran, may he rest in peace. This is our day to honor and respect all of our veterans for the sacrifices they have made for their country.
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” – John Fitzgerald Kennedy
While in Vegas, Denis and I had dinner at a nice Italian restaurant in Summerlin. Our waitress (is that PC? maybe it’s “server” but she didn’t serve the food, somebody else did…anyway…her name was Michelle) was very nice but she was looking at me kind of funny. It wasn’t my first time being looked at funny but she finally said, “I don’t mean to stare but you look so familiar. Are you on TV?” I said that I had been on TV and she jumped in and said, “Wait! Don’t tell me! Are you on the news?” No. “Wait, wait! Don’t tell me, are you an actress?” No. This went on until our soup got cold so I decided to give her a hint. My hint was ‘daytime television.’ She stared even harder, trying hard to figure out who I was. “Don’t tell me, I know this,” she said. My hair was in a pony tail so I told her I had shoulder length, blond hair. Our staring contest continued. Finally I said, “I’ll just tell you I’m…” “No, don’t tell me – give me another hint.” Okay, I told her my first and last name start with the same letter – that should do it. Nothing. I was getting hungry so I told her those letters were ‘J.’ She had to get it now. Still nothing. Desperation finally set in and she called the hostess over, saying, “Do you know who this is?” “Sure,” she said, “it’s Jenny Jones.” Michelle almost dropped her bread basket! She was so excited and said she was a huge fan and watched my show all the time. Have I changed that much? I’m waiting for the day I’m asked the same question: “Were you on TV?” “Yes, I was. I’m Jenny Jones.” “No, you’re not.”
Denis and I made two round trips to Las Vegas in two weeks and it’s about a 4-hour drive (5 if I’m driving!). But since Denis was driving, I entertained myself by looking for out-of-state license plates and I could not believe how many I saw just between Los Angeles and Las Vegas. Here’s my list: New Mexico, New Jersey, Virginia, Tennessee, Illinois, Maine, South Dakota, Florida, Mississippi, Nebraska, Iowa, Indiana, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Missouri, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Montana, Arizona, Texas, Washington, Idaho, Oregon, Oklahoma, Utah, South Carolina, Kansas, North Carolina, and guess what? Alaska and Hawaii! I saw TWO cars with Hawaii plates! Wait, there’s more: Ontario, Alberta, Manitoba, British Columbia, and Quebec! Oh, Canada… My peeps!
I didn’t mind the drive but I still don’t like staying in hotels, even nice ones. Who knows what went on in that room before we got there? There was a stain on the floor looked suspicious but I guess a stain is better than a chalk outline of a body, huh? I wondered about bedbugs but opted not to look. There were no bite marks in the morning so I guess they weren’t there… or else they were still full from the last guy.
CANADA
CALIFORNIA
U.S.A.