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This thing was HUGE!

Halloween is not the only scary thing about October. I was out walking today and did not realize I was heading straight into a huge 4-foot spider web. I only noticed it because the spider that built it saw me coming and ran up to the top. I was inches away from walking right into it, face first. If that happened, you’d find me in the psychiatric ward of the hospital in the S.I.F.T. ward (Spider In Face Trauma!) This thing was HUGE! He ran up to the top and then looked down at me and I swear I heard a voice say, “What are you lookin’ at?” I decided to stare him down but then he started back down the web. He was either the biggest spider I’ve ever seen or he was carrying a backpack. I took a stick and knocked down part of the web and ran, afraid to look back in case he was mad and bungee jumped down his web to come after me. You know what doesn’t scare me now? Scorpions.

Things to ponder

1. I went to the mall today… actually, I didn’t get in because I could not find parking. Even the handicapped spaces were taken. How is it that so many handicapped people are driving a Lexus or Mercedes? Oh, I suppose they must have been injured, got one of those TV lawyers and won a big settlement and then spent the money on a luxury car. There could be no other explanation…

2. If a man says something when he’s alone in a forest and nobody hears him, is he still wrong? (this ponderance may be a reflection of how my day went today)

3. What happened to Charlie Sheen’s teeth?

No time to blog

I miss my blog! But I’ve been swamped with handling my stepmom’s affairs, getting some work done on the house, and we have house guests this week. Plus I’m trying to write another cookbook, make some more videos and trap some more squirrels, but who has the time? Now there’s a mole creating his own private highway across my lawn, and something left a big pile of poop in the back yard last night. Where’s the hawk when you need him? I’ll be back to blogging soon. Meantime, feel free to share your own details about what’s overwhelming you. I don’t want to be the lone whiner!

Family Portrait

It’s one thing for me to post pictures I take in my back yard but quite another to take those photos and create a collage of all my back yard visitors. That’s exactly what my facebook friend, Brian, did in his spare time. He did such an awesome job and clearly spent a lot of time to do this, so I want everyone to see it. I love my backyard and consider all the visitors ‘family,’ even the ones I love to hate (like the mangy, rat-faced, no-good, low-life, beady-eyed, scum-sucking, tomato-stealing squirrels). If  all seventeen showed up at once, who would be the last one standing?  Who would escape? Who would become lunch? Would any of them work together as a team or would they backstab each other to survive? I know who would run & hide like a scared little girl…

Random thoughts…

I’ve never regretted telling the truth.  I can’t throw away a good jar. One size fits all is a crock.  Denis is the best hugger in the world. I have 47 spatulas but my car is 9 years old….my priorities are clear. No one wants to change the toilet paper roll, including me, so I always try to leave 2 or 3 squares of tissue on the roll so the next person has to deal with it.  Spiders can hold their breath for 19 hours – I didn’t need to know that. Stretch pants are nobody’s friend. Cookies are a waste of time without milk. “At the tone please leave your message…when you are finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options.” If anyone has ever pressed one for more options, I’d like to know about it.

A life was saved

I’m proud to report that A LIFE WAS SAVED thanks to one of “Jenny’s Heroes.” Alisha Obando, a school nurse from American Falls, Idaho, had requested funds in January to provide three AEDs (Automated External Defibrillators) to her local school district. Last week, a young life was saved. A 17-year-old student collapsed at football practice and had no pulse. The AED saved his life. I know that a lot of people have been helped though “Jenny’s Heroes” but this is the first definitive proof that a life was saved. I’m rewarded beyond words. If you want to see more about Alisha or the other Heroes, click here.

Preventing dry skin

Hi Jenny. I want to know more about how to prevent dry skin on the face.

Noreen

Dear Noreen,

There are a few things I can suggest and the first is your diet. A healthy diet is always reflected in healthy skin. Besides lots of vegetables & fruit, it’s important to consume some fat but only healthy fat, like olive oil, canola oil, avocados, nuts, etc., and drink water every day. Secondly, make sure you are not stripping away moisture when you wash your face – do not use regular soap (never deodorant soap!) but only a mild cleanser and no hot water. Look for a rich “hydrating” moisturizer and if your climate is dry, use a humidifier and spray your face regularly with water. I hope that helps.

Jenny

Father of three feels hopeless

I came from a divorced family full of alcoholics and could never please my parents. Moreover, I did not graduate from high school as well. In light of all circumstances, I did secure a career of 17 years (but recently resigned due to an organizational merger) and was ultimately able to secure an AS, BS, & MPA degrees… However, I am currently unemployed and my divorce of 13 years is almost final. I have struggled for years with addiction….and most recently it has been Very challenging. I am a loving father of 3, I attend church weekly, but I’m all tattooed up Which I believe has created a significant obstacle for me in securing any potential, yet decent employment opportunities. Any advice would be greatly appreciated…..I feel so hopeless…please respond….. God bless.

A.J.