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Matt needs advice

why am i unloveable, I am rencently devoriced my wife of 5 years was cheating on me I found out several time and I forgave her and tried to¬†more on eventily she told me she need to sleep with other men because she did not love me that way. after i was devoriced a ex contacted and told me how much she missed¬† me and we went out a few times, then she told me that she loved me she did not love me what ever that means. then 2 day ago a woman i have know for 20 year invited me out to a movie, we flirted over dinner and in the movie held hands like we were teenagers. we end up back at her place and we end up making out, we arranged to meet the next night and we ended up in bed. today she told me she wishes she could love me and she tried to want to be with me but she can’t.

So i ask the question whats wrong with me. i see very little reason to get up tomorrow. it is hard to go thru this world even harder when you alone

6 Responses

  1. Josh says:

    Don’t beat yourself up, because it doesn’t sound like it’s your fault.
    After having a marriage end especially when repeated cheating took place, that of course is going to take a toll and batter your belief system.

    Don’t make excuses for people that hurt you. Take it as a life lesson and learn from it and move forward.

    It’s great though that you are putting yourself out there, even if it hasn’t gone quite like you have wanted it to.
    It takes time to find the right person but you will!
    Keep risking. It will get better!

  2. Charleen KS Andrade says:

    My friend you are a living treasure, it’s your ex-wife who didn’t see the golden man you are…just move on and be happy and a person will come away…there’s alot of buterflies it’s how you look in the inner beauty of aperson and not outer…We are all living treasures just be positive be happy and move on with life‚Ķsomeome will catch you and treat you as a valued living soul‚Ķ

  3. sue says:

    Matt,
    You are not alone. You are just letting yourself be vulnorable to the wrong people. Join a gym, excersice and let your body feel the love for itself that it needs. It’s amazing how that alone can make you feel sooooo gooood.! Meeting a girl at a place like this instead of maybe a bar or whatever… could be the difference that you need. There is love for everyone out there, sometimes it just takes a little longer to find it! God Bless Matt, I know you will find someone.

    Love,
    Sue

  4. Friendly advice says:

    Hi Matt,

    Rejection is heartbreaking each and every time but the one thing I noticed in your letter is that you have not given up on love. That is important because sometimes a broken heart can make you bitter and unbearable to date. There appears to be a pattern to the women you are drawn to, they all seemed to have been exes or close friends at some point and there must be some redeeming quality that you find attractive about them. How about, open yourself up to love. Not to a certain type, age, race or weight. Open your hands and your heart and receive where God may direct you. You may also may want to try asking someone out who is completely different than the type of women you are accustomed to. Love has no limits so why limit your choices. Now here is a bit of unconventional advice. Instead of focusing on one woman at a time, keep your options open. Date many, be honest, but date several. Use your resources. Friends, the internet, the supermarket and church. Hope this helps because you sir are worthy of a lifetime of love and happiness.

  5. Ian says:

    Nothing is wrong with you. I’m sure you have met some women that love you and you just don’t love them.

    When its right it’s amazing…

    keep looking… it’ll happen… it just doesn’t happen overnight.

    Good luck… It’s worth the wait.

  6. Jim says:

    Keep your chin up guy. Be thankful you have women asking you out on dates. I haven’t had a date in over 10 years. Stay positive and focus on the good things in your life, rather than the bad.

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