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Drug store wardrobe – again!

I did it again. Last year I did some wardrobe shopping at Walgreens (see July 25, 2010 posting). I wasn’t planning to but they had the display right in front of the entrance and it was only $9.99 for a beautiful summer skirt. I bought it, hoping it wouldn’t make the tabloids in the “Stars Who Have Hit Hard Times” section. So… fast forward to last month when my sister was here and being from Canada, she was looking for a warm and fuzzy plaid outdoor jacket. We never found it, maybe because it was 80 degrees every day of her visit. Literally, the day after she left I went to Rite-Aid and there it was! Right at the entrance – a rack of warm and fuzzy plaid outdoor jackets. This was exactly what she wanted – for $19.95! With a hood! And extra zip lining! It was perfect!  But I had to make sure the size was right so I tried it on myself. One look in a mirror and I’d know what size to get but this was a pharmacy and they don’t have dressing rooms… or mirrors. Can somebody please put mirrors in the drug store! I put on the jacket and walked up and down the aisles looking at my reflection in various glass display cases, but I couldn’t see much. Finally, I found a rack of sunglasses with that long skinny 2-inch wide, 48-inch tall strip of mirror which is great if you’re a naked anorexic. I was able to see enough to pick the right size. She got it, loved it, and said it was a perfect fit. What’s next at the drug store? “Waiting for a prescription? Get your eyelids done on aisle three!”

Look who’s back.

Why? Why? Why? There are other trees to pillage. Life was joyous the last few weeks when he was busy eating all the pine cones off my pine tree. I just walked outside to pick the first apple from my new fall crop. It was the nice big one one near the top that I’ve been watching for weeks and today was the day it would be ready to eat. But it’s gone. Stolen by that mangy, rat-faced, no-good, low-life, beady-eyed, scum-sucking, apple-stealing squirrel! I saw him eating it right there under the tree and ran outside as if I could actually catch him. In three seconds, he was up on the roof and gone. And so was the apple I guess because it was no where to be found. This is totally unacceptable. I am so mad!!!!!! I have to do something. But what?  Home Depot doesn’t sell land mines.

Josh’s Mexican folk art

Josh writes, “Here is a photo of the sugar skulls that I made for a speech that I did on ‘Mexican folk art.’ They are made from sugar, water and meringue powder. You put the mixture into a mold and allow it to dry for 6 hours. Then you hollow it out a bit so the finished skull isn’t too heavy. After allowing it to dry further, you glue the front and back together with royal icing, and decorate them with royal icing.”

(from Jenny) Josh, right after you sent your picture, I was at a street fair here in L.A. and saw these pillows, etc. for sale. What are the odds of seeing similar folk art on the same day! I thought you would enjoy these…

This thing was HUGE!

Halloween is not the only scary thing about October. I was out walking today and did not realize I was heading straight into a huge 4-foot spider web. I only noticed it because the spider that built it saw me coming and ran up to the top. I was inches away from walking right into it, face first. If that happened, you’d find me in the psychiatric ward of the hospital in the S.I.F.T. ward (Spider In Face Trauma!) This thing was HUGE! He ran up to the top and then looked down at me and I swear I heard a voice say, “What are you lookin’ at?” I decided to stare him down but then he started back down the web. He was either the biggest spider I’ve ever seen or he was carrying a backpack. I took a stick and knocked down part of the web and ran, afraid to look back in case he was mad and bungee jumped down his web to come after me. You know what doesn’t scare me now? Scorpions.

I wasn’t in Mexico

Look what I saw at Venice Beach yesterday! A car from Juarez, Mexico! I have never seen any Mexican license plate in all my years in California but this one is from Juarez. Isn’t that the most dangerous city in the hemisphere? The murder capital of the world? That’s where all the drug dealers are. But what would this vehicle be doing at Venice Beach? All I saw there were street performers, sunglass kiosks, T-shirt shops, and bunch of medical marijuana shops. Hmmm, it’s a conundrum.

My sister came to town for the weekend with her two daughters and one granddaughter for some fun. We went to Venice Beach, Santa Monica, Hollywood, Beverly Hills, and shopped and ate ourselves into a near coma: a monster buffet, gourmet burgers, Benihana, Cheesecake Factory, Chicken Pot Pie at the Daily Grill, Pinkberry for dessert. Well… you can imagine. I was one slice of cheesecake away from needing my stretch pants! 🙂

Air Force One

I actually was inside Air Force One today! Denis and I went to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum in Simi Valley and the real Air Force One is there, inside an enormous hangar. It’s a Boeing 707 and it flew seven presidents: Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, H.W. Bush, Clinton, and W. Bush. It’s huge! 152 feet long and the wingspan is 145 feet! No one could take pictures inside but it was so great to see where the presidents sat, all the (old school) computers, phones, fax machine, where the VIPs sat, and the press had to sit in the back, never allowed up front. Plus… the press didn’t fly free – they had to buy first class tickets. We also saw one particular seat where one person sat with a computer and he was the guy with all the nuclear codes. Always ready for anything, I guess. It was exciting to see it all in person, but this was not the highlight, my friends. The highlight of the trip was getting my senior discount. I asked for a senior ticket and got it. I said, “Aren’t you gonna card me?” “No.” Okay, that hurt a little.

Things to ponder

1. I went to the mall today… actually, I didn’t get in because I could not find parking. Even the handicapped spaces were taken. How is it that so many handicapped people are driving a Lexus or Mercedes? Oh, I suppose they must have been injured, got one of those TV lawyers and won a big settlement and then spent the money on a luxury car. There could be no other explanation…

2. If a man says something when he’s alone in a forest and nobody hears him, is he still wrong? (this ponderance may be a reflection of how my day went today)

3. What happened to Charlie Sheen’s teeth?

Looking for your cousin?

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw another scorpion in the back yard. At first, it looked like a leaf but I’ve trained myself to study every dirt pile,  leaf, and stick in the back yard. This one looked just like some dried things that fall off the shrubs on the back hill… or ARE they dried things that fall off the shrubs? I used to go outside with my camera – now I go out with a magnifying glass! Seriously. And that scarf around my neck is not about fashion. I always think something’s crawling on my neck. This is no way to live!!!

No time to blog

I miss my blog! But I’ve been swamped with handling my stepmom’s affairs, getting some work done on the house, and we have house guests this week. Plus I’m trying to write another cookbook, make some more videos and trap some more squirrels, but who has the time? Now there’s a mole creating his own private highway across my lawn, and something left a big pile of poop in the back yard last night. Where’s the hawk when you need him? I’ll be back to blogging soon. Meantime, feel free to share your own details about what’s overwhelming you. I don’t want to be the lone whiner!