1. The Golden Globes should have been called the Golden Gloves. I was sure somebody would punch Ricky Gervais’s lights out in the green room for being so mean… but so funny…but so mean…but so funny…but… Ricky’s a good actor but don’t expect to see him in the next John Travolta movie.

2. Charlie Sheen seems to be headed down a very wrong path. I wonder if he even remembers half the stuff he’s doing. Do you suppose he shoved his own car down the ravine off Mulholland Drive and just forgot? Maybe he thinks he parked it there and walked up, wondering why his driveway seemed so steep.

3. Martha Stewart needed nine stitches for a split lip. She says her dog hit her in the face. That’s her story and she’s sticking to it.

4. Most famous people who engage in an act of career-damaging stupidity, check into rehab. But they’re usually famous for more than two days. Ted Williams, the homeless guy with the radio voice, couldn’t deal. Shoving him into the spotlight was like taking a priest to a strip club – too much too soon.

5. Regis Philbin is quitting his show? I was shocked… not that he was quitting, but that he’s still alive. 😉