“You’ll hate the way you look, I guarantee it.” That’s the way I should have started this makeover show. These were young club kids who got to express themselves in their own creative & fun ways, and to be honest, I thought some of them did look better “before.” See what you think. http://demo.jennyjones.com/bt_video_highlights.shtml

And oh, hey… Denis and I went to Vegas after all and the roads were clear. We only went to take care of my stepmom’s affairs and only stayed overnight. It was a long, hard day and we were mentally exhausted.  Just before we headed back, I said, “Com’on, let’s play a dollar in the slots! We can’t come to Vegas and not play anything!” So before we checked out, we stopped at a poker machine and got out our dollar. There were about six different games to choose (I think) and we were so brain-dead, we both just stared at the screen and couldn’t figure out how to play any of them. Defeated, we sauntered away with our dollar.

What happened to real slot machines, anyway? I want to pull the arm. I want to put in real money. Clang, clang, clang! Alas, like many other things from the past, they’ve  been improved and replaced. They’ll wind up in a museum one day along with pay phones, typewriters, and a picture of me on Star Search.

This isn’t suposed to happen here! We pay good money to live in southern California and there is NO SNOW ALLOWED! If this happens again, I just won’t pay my taxes! First it rained for about two weeks and now this. I don’t have snow boots. I don’t think they sell snow boots here. Denis and I were planning to drive to Las Vegas tomorrow and highway 15 is closed. No one here knows how to drive in the snow and cars were sliding every which way, so they closed the road. I guess Vegas will have to wait.

On second thought, I think I will pay my taxes. Our jails are overcrowded and Wesley Snipes already has the corner room.

I didn’t have the stones to go shopping on Boxing Day (the 26th) but I went out last night.  We actually have a mall with a Target and a Neiman Marcus. In the same mall! You can buy one blouse at Neiman’s for 60% off or buy five at Target for full price…and have enough left over for slippers, a set of bowls, two books, a lip pencil, and some toilet paper.

Our critter guy set 74 gopher traps on the back hill. What if the hill is all Swiss-cheesy inside and full of tunnels? When it rains tomorrow, those little rodents will have their own underground water park with a half-pipe and a wave pool.

I’m trying to learn Spanish so Denis got me a learning system on CD.  Es muy bueno y me gusto mucho. Quero hablar espanol porque mi amiga, Antonia, habla espanol con migo todos dias.

That was lame, wasn’t it?

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Most people probably don’t know that before my talk show and before doing standup comedy, I was a musician & songwriter. I sang and played drums in a rock band and was also a backup singer for Wayne Newton in Las Vegas (I even wrote the theme music for the Jenny Jones Show!). So you can imagine how excited I was to sing again and especially to sing with the fabulous Brent Jones and the TP Mobb. It was back in December 2000.

I was so nervous that if it hadn’t been my own show, I would have probably cancelled.  I’m glad I didn’t because now, I can share it with you. Click here for “Silent Night.”