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Dear Diary

No prison this time

The last time I was in Lompoc was in 1978 when my band played at the Lompoc Federal Prison. Don’t ask me how we got the gig – I have no idea. I remember going through all kinds of security as they searched us and our instruments. When we started playing, the prisoners’ cheering was so loud we could not hear our own music. We actually got out of sync and didn’t know it as we kept playing through the pandemonium. No one in the audience knew or cared that we were playing out of sync. They kept screaming for me to turn around and I thought maybe one of the prisoners got loose and was coming up behind me. Security guards were stationed at both sides of the stage but they didn’t move so I finally turned around and the crowd exploded. They just wanted to see my ass!

Fast forward to 2013… I’m gong back to Lompoc, but no prison this time. I always wanted to see the flower fields in Lompoc and we’re going tomorrow.

There’s a flower festival this weekend and  I love taking pictures but what has me even more excited is… there might be a tilt-a-whirl!

Bon voyage!!

Spring is here… so what?

Is everybody happy that spring is finally here? Me… not so much. I was happy until a series of events have put me on edge. First thing: There was a spider in the bathroom. Second: Last week there was a baby rattle snake in the backyard. The gardeners got rid of it but what if his mom, the big one, comes looking for her son?? Third thing:  Denis and I were standing out in the backyard last night around 6:00 (it was still very light), watching the hummingbirds, when a skunk walked right past us – like we were invisible. I went for my camera but Denis said not to make any sudden moves – if he feels threatened, he could spray us. Mr. Skunk strolled away like he owned the place. Now I can’t just walk outside carefree any more. In the morning I have to watch where I step not to corner a rattle snake, and in the late afternoon I have to look over my shoulder for the skunk. And as if spiders, snakes, and skunks weren’t enough… the tomato plant came back! YES!! IT’S BACK!! In the exact same spot, right between the roses.

It’s just a little sprout right now but that’s all it was last year and I wound up picking over 8,000 tomatoes! I’m not doing that again! I don’t care how delicious and sweet those cherry tomatoes were…. oh, they were soooo good…. well, maybe I’ll just pick the first five thousand. The rabbit can have the rest.

Pass the bamboo

Denis and I took a weekend getaway to the San Diego Zoo. We saw a lot of animals but nothing compared to seeing this giant panda in person. This was not what I expected. It’s much bigger than I thought – about 5 to 6 feet tall. We watched him for about ten minutes and all he did was eat, eat, eat. He stuffed himself on huge branches of bamboo. It’s no wonder he was lying back like that – just like us after Thanksgiving dinner… in a recliner, can’t get up, need a nap.

Beverly Hills

I ran some errands today and took a short cut down Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. I saw two Rolls Royces, a Bentley, two Ferraris, a chrome car, a Porsche racing car, and a very long, low, sleek  yellow and black & shiny sports car (don’t know what that was!).

I got out to window shop and everybody walking around was dressed to the nines! The right fashions, the right shoes, hair with the right highlights in just the right place. I need to dress better next time I go there.

I’m surprised they didn’t ask me to leave. “I’m sorry but we have to ask you to leave Beverly Hills. We have a certain standard to uphold… and here’s some money so you can buy a mirror.”

My Valentine

Happy Valentine’s Day to Denis, my  partner of 27 years.

I call him my “precious little puppy fluff.”

He makes me laugh every day.

He still tells me he loves me every night.

Is this a bad day to ask him to clean the garage?

Whatever happened to me?

In the tabloids again? When I heard that I was in the National Examiner, I was expecting the worst.  It was a relief to see that it was just updates on what we’re all doing except there was no mention of my cooking!

Oh well, it could have been worse…. It could have been “Stars Without Makeup” or “A Tub of Cottage Cheese or Jenny Jones’s Thighs? You Decide!”

The Who – Rock On!

Me, Denis, and about 20,000 other people were at the Staples Center last night for The Who concert. I’ve never been to a concert like this before (does Donnie & Marie count?) and it was LOUD! How do I describe the level of loudness? I could physically feel the thumping of the bass in my chest like it was pounding against my heart. If someone you know goes into cardiac arrest, get them to a rock concert! It’ll snap that puppy right back to life! Once I got my earplugs in, I really enjoyed the music by the two remaining members of The Who, Roger Daltrey and Pete Townsend. They played their entire rock opera, “Quadrophenia” followed by some of their big hits. The drummer, Zak Starkey (Ringo Starr’s son), was incredible and there were six video screens with fantastic graphics. They also used the screens to play nice tributes to Keith Moon and John Entwistle with their solos integrated into the live music so well it was hard to tell them apart.

We had center floor seats in the 12th row but we didn’t use the seats. Everybody stood for the entire two hours so if you didn’t stand, you could only see the screens. They rocked. Roger was bare chested, swinging the microphone. Pete was doing windmills on the guitar. They’ve still got it! They’re pushing seventy and performed for over two hours. And I was whining about having to stand up. I have a new perspective.

It’s a mystery

This morning I decided to walk out on our second floor balcony to check the gutters that face the backyard. What I saw was one of our cushions laying on the floor of the balcony and I have no idea how it got there. It’s a 12-inch square patio cushion that looks like it was tossed onto the balcony.  The last time I saw this cushion, it was on a patio chair that sits below the balcony. We have no children and the only people to frequent the backyard (besides the deer, coyotes, and various annoying critters) are the gardeners who are nice guys and would not pull pranks. How did it get there? Is it possible a hawk or owl picked it up and dropped it there? Maybe there was an animal on the cushion and the bird picked up the animal and cushion together, then dropped the cushion? It’s a mystery.

I did not need to hear that

I went back to the gum guy on Thursday. Here’s my problem: If I was having open heart surgery, I don’t want to hear, “We’re going to crack open your chest with a chain saw, pry you open with a huge metal vice, then start slicing up……” No! I don’t need to hear that! All I need to hear is, “You’re not going to die.”  So I get there and am in the chair with the woman who’s about to work on my infected tooth. This time I know not to look at any of the sharp, pointy, metal tools. Then in comes the gum guy, who said hi to me and then started to review my x-ray with the technician, telling her what needs to be done. “You’ll have to use that long blah-blah tool and get way up into this area here – it may take some time – but you’ll have to scrape all of this out. If she needs more numbing, you can give her another injection.” Hello!! I’m right here!! I did not need to hear that.

I thought about making a run for it. Maybe I should ask for a bunch of Advil & Tylenol… not for the pain… I want to get high. Next time (and there will be a next time) I’m bringing my ipod. If I ran things, every dentist’s office would serve wine.

Open wide

I went to THREE dentists today! I started with my regular dentist for a tooth that was very painful to the touch and forget about eating on that side. I was pretty sure I had an infection. She took an x-ray and said it didn’t look like an infection but it could need a root canal, or maybe it’s a gum/bone problem. “It’s hard to say.” Meantime, I’m in pain but don’t like to take medication. So she called the root canal guy who agreed to see me right away. I asked if I should take my x-ray with me and she said, “I already emailed it to him.” Wow. The last time I needed dental work, they clipped my x-ray to a lighted screen and it was the size of a postage stamp. I headed for dentist #2 who took some kind of 180 scan photo and then started poking around but I was in pain so he offered to numb the area. I made the mistake of opening my eyes and seeing the needle before it went in. I’ll never do that again! He numbed the area (so he said) and then started shoving a sharp metal ice pick into my gums. Okay, it may have been a thin dental probe but com’on! I could still feel it! It must have been two feet long! What’s the point of that anyway? Then I asked if I could rinse….. and I saw blood!!!

“You don’t need a root canal,” he said, “but you have to see the gum guy.” He didn’t call him the gum guy but I left and headed for the third dentist. On the way, the numbing stopped working and now came some serious pain, from the damage done by the ice pick. When I got to the third office, I was in severe pain. I must have looked bad because they gave me 4 Advil and 2 Tylenol all at once. With no food. Before the pills kicked in, I was in chair #3 and out came the ice pick again. He started with the poking and the prodding and I pushed his hand away. “Can you give me some topical stuff for pain before you go mining in there?” He offered another numbing by needle and much as I hate needles, it was a relief. Go for it. It can’t hurt any more than this pain I’m having now. So I got another injection (so it seemed) until the prod came out. Maybe they should wait a little longer for the numbing to work – just a thought. There was more sharp, jolting pain and when he was done he said, “You don’t need gum surgery. There may be a crack in the root but it’s hard to say.” He suggested I have the infection cleaned out for starters and see if it heals up on its own. I’m going back Thursday.

Finally, I was able to drive home.  The pills kicked it and the pain was gone… but I was high! With no food, the pills made me dizzy and I was afraid I’d get a DUI. So I pulled over, found some almonds in my purse and ate them, on my good side, the side that wasn’t numb.  My bad side was still numb but I managed to get home and couldn’t wait to have some green tea and relax.  I made a cup of tea, sat down, sipped my tea, and it all spilled down my face and onto my clothes. I guess you’re supposed to wait for the numbness to be gone. Who cares? I think I’m still high.