1. Wesley Snipes is in prison, serving 3 years for tax evasion. He owed the IRS 15 million dollars. Before you judge him for being stupid, he may be smarter than you think. He does nothing for 3 years and wipes out 15 million in debt. That’s 5 million a year – plus free meals. Genius!
2. Who owns the Dodgers? Jamie and Frank McCourt are spending millions on lawyers to see who owns the Dodgers. Their former lawyer admitted that he doctored the community property agreement to make Frank the sole owner and now the judge has voided that agreement. If I were that former lawyer, I’d be far away, with a fake moustache, in a witness protection program… and open to a sex-change.
3. David Hasselhoff’s new reality show has already been cancelled after just two episodes. First DWTS and now this? What happened, Hoff? Your new show is off. That is toff. They didn’t even tune in to scoff. I guess they’ve had enoff of the Hoff.
4. Rob a bank without a ski mask. Bad guys are robbing banks using special effects masks, like an old man, and they’re fooling everybody. I would use a Mel Gibson mask. You wouldn’t need a gun. Anyone would give you money just to leave and not come back.
5. “Off with their Heads!” British students are angry that their university fees are being tripled so they gathered on the streets to protest. Not a good time for Charles and Camilla to cruise by in their 1977 vintage Rolls-Royce Phantom VI. The classic car was struck with fists, sticks and bottles, breaking a window and splattering it with paint. Even Camilla was poked with a stick. I think it was a 10-foot pole.
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HEALTH & BEAUTY
Most people probably don’t know that before my talk show and before doing standup comedy, I was a musician & songwriter. I sang and played drums in a rock band and was also a backup singer for Wayne Newton in Las Vegas (I even wrote the theme music for the Jenny Jones Show!). So you can imagine how excited I was to sing again and especially to sing with the fabulous Brent Jones and the TP Mobb. It was back in December 2000.
